Sing To Me
by CaptainBrieOnToast
Summary: You write a song for Joshua as a way to confess your feelings towards him. Romantic, right? There's no way this can end badly. Part of the Tsuredere Series


You had always felt pretty unlucky when it came to life.

You had to work really hard on everything for things to work out. If you didn't things just didn't end up well for you. You failed tests, you missed out on extra cool opportunities and more. So when you fell for Joshua you couldn't really say you were surprised.

If he himself wasn't intimidating enough... For goodness sake he was attractive, and kind, and then he just had to also be a freaking Korean idol in a boy group popular for their insane synchronization and their really good music and choreography. To make it even_ more_ insane he just_ had_ to speak English_ and_ Korean.

God, just thinking about it was making you angry.

_Nobody asked you to be perfect at everything Joshua._

You were furious. Completely and utterly furious at him for being so dumb and perfect. How_ dare_ he turn to you and ask you one day to be his girlfriend. _God and your first date had to be so fucking magical_ and it had to be outdoors too, right when the wind was blowing and the cherry blossoms were blooming. The stupid pink petals had swooped around him practically beckoning you to fall in love with him forever.

So, of course, you had been fooled by his wit and charm.

Now all you ever did was run around like an _idiot_ trying to be half deserving of his affections-_ geez, why did he like you anyways? You were great and all but not that great._

Now your anniversary was coming up, and you couldn't believe that you had been with Joshua for so long.

A year, a _whole year had passed _and he still treated you just as well as he had the very first day you two met.

* * *

He had never been unclear about his intentions either. When you two first met, you had been rather shy, but still introduced yourself as eagerly as you could. He took one look at you, offered his hand and gave you a soft smile.

_"One day, I'm going to marry you."_

Your cheeks had gone _crimson_, and you avoided going to events for the next month in fear of seeing him again and finding out that he was just some player spouting nonsense.

_You tugged your shirt silently, pressing closer to your friend as the two of you walked into the room where everyone else was. You spotted Joshua immediately. You had only seen him for moments before but you still recognized him. _

_All you could do was stand there and hope he didn't see you or hope that he didn't flirt with some girl and turn out to be your average dirt bag._

_You didn't speak your discomfort to your friend... Mostly because he saw you before you could say anything._

_His eyes light up, and he raised a hand in the air as a greeting._

_"Y/n!" He said excitedly. He rushed over to you and smiled brightly. "I was starting to think I'd never see you again."  
_

_You were surprised he remembered you, much less remembered your name. You smiled at him kindly._

_"Oh, hello Joshua!" You said politely. He didn't even waste a moment._

_"I know this is really sudden, but would you like to be my girlfriend?"  
_

_Your jaw dropped, but Joshua continued before you could say anything in response._

_"It's just from the moment I saw you that day, I can't stop thinking about you... And I hear about you all the time now, you're possibly the kindest person that I've ever had the chance to meet. So please, will you go out with me?"  
_

You couldn't say no to such a nice confession.

And now it had been a year since that confession, and you had _no clue _what to get him.

You grumbled in frustration, shoving your head into a pillow.

And to make it worse, you had heard rumors.

Joshua was considering breaking up with you. A great way to celebrate your anniversary right? To find out that he's thinking about breaking up with you because you aren't affectionate enough.

Sure he's been saying he loves you since like month two, and you've been hesitant to say the words, and you practically run anytime that you think he might kiss you, and you avoid going on dates with him and-

You interrupted your own stream off thought y rolling off of your bed, letting your body slam to the floor.

How had he dated you for an _entire year_ and not dumped you yet?

"What's wrong this time?" Seungkwan asked, lazily glancing over at you. "Is it Joshua again?"

"_Of course it's Joshua again!" _You blurted. "If I can't make our one year perfect and prove that I _do _in fact like him, then he will leave me. I know he will I know it."

"Y/n, Chang-kyun did not tell you what Joshua said so that you would freak out like this," Seungkwan chided tiredly. You sat up from where you were laying collapsed on the ground and sighed.

"How was I supposed to react? IM knows me better than this," you mumbled. "I like Joshua, I do-"

"So tell him!" Seungkwan blurted. "Even I'm smart enough to know that you should do that!"

"Every time I go to I freeze up!" You argued back. "And now it has to be super special or he will think I'm just saying it because _he_ says it so much."

"Joshua knows you like him-"

"Does he?!" You blurted back. "Cause I thought he did before but IM didn't even know we were dating before. That's how unaffectionate I am!"

"You do act like he's a stranger whenever we all hang out," Seungkwan agreed.

You sighed and got to your feet.

"So I have to confess to my boyfriend of a year and I have to make it like the best confession ever," you stated calmly. Your heart skipped a beat. "What do I do?"

"You should just walk up to him and like 'uwu Jisoo oppa I love you' and then like actually let him kiss you and there you go. Romantic as heck."

"No."

You stood there, staring blankly at your desk as your mind raced, trying to figure out exactly what you should do.

And then it hit you.

And five hours later, you wished to god it had never hit you.

Write a song? _Write a song for someone in the idol industry, yeah that's a great idea._

You crumbled up the paper in front of you and tossed it into the trash. Luckily enough for you, Seungkwan had left ages ago, so he wasn't here to witness your disastrous attempts.

You started again from the start.

_I wish I knew where to start_

_A way to open my heart_

_But trying to find the words_

_Are the only_...

You tried to think of a word that rhymed with "words" but nothing came to mind.

Maybe the tune could switch at that?

_I love you_,_ I know that's for sure_

You wrinkled your nose in frustration. DId that even rhyme? You were pretty sure it didn't. You crumpled this paper too and started over. Maybe the song lyrics needed a theme? Maybe that would help.

_11:11, I thought of you today_

_Again and again day after day, the hands tick and the times change, but when that clock hits that same small time, four numerals in and you're on my mind_

_Make a wish to be loved, make a wish to be free, but all those wishes go to waste when it comes to you and me_

Yeah... Yeah! Not too shabby. Maybe if you just kept with the number theme...

_My clock was stuck on 10:10, when you kicked it back into the groove and now it's 11:11 two times a day and still on the move_

_24 hours in a day, and you help me through 25_

_You showed me the time so I gave you all of mine_

You squinted at the words, rereading it again and again. Something about it felt wrong... It didn't work. You crumpled your paper again and tossed it to the side.

Music wasn't always literal... Maybe if you took a different approach... Less literal...

_Complicated_

_I'm standing at the start of endless paths_

_There's so many different ways this can go_

_This world has endless possibilities_

_Even a speck of dust can make a change_

You stopped again. One reread through and it was in the trash too. Maybe literal was the only way you could really go...

You started again from the top. Still a little less literal, not _too _nonliteral

_Sometimes it feels like everyone skips my page in the book_

_It didn't used to matter_

You heard the door open behind you but you ignored it in order to try and think of the next line. You knew what you _wanted _to say... Geez, that's how it always was with Joshua. You always knew what you wanted to say but you couldn't.

The topic was pretty good, but maybe you needed to write it differently?

_I never had a voice to begin with_

_But I'm starting to hear myself and I like what I hear_

_I want to share_

You stopped again. Stared for a few seconds, crumpled the paper tossed it to the side and banged your head against the table, groaning loudly.

"It's not this _hard_," you said in frustration. You started again. You heard Seungkwan beside you picking up the paper you had just crumbled, but you mostly ignored it.

_How many songs fit this trope?_

_I think mine is in the thousands_

Now you were just writing yourself into a damn box. You crumpled it, tossed it wildly and furiously wrote down:

_I couldn't sleep again_

_Hours spent keeping track of my dreams_

_Put two hours of rest in_

_And the page is blank_

"What are you doing?"

You startled and looked up.

The person in the room was not Seungkwan.

Your cheeks turned a dark crimson and your mouth dropped.

"Joshua I-"

He had unraveled a number of your papers on the floor and he was holding one in your hand. You couldn't find the words again. _God why could you never find the words when it came to Joshua._

"Who are you writing this for?" Joshua asked slowly. You got to your feet.

"I-I-" You swallowed thickly. "It's just you know our special day is coming, and I was talking to Seungkwan and I was thinking about our relationship and I was just trying to figure out what to say-"

"What to say?"

"About us."

"You talked to Seungkwan, and now you want to talk about us?" Joshua reiterated.

"I just want to make sure you understand how I feel about you," you replied. He stared at you, looking slightly disheartened.

"Oh."

You tilted your head.

"I'm sorry, it's just so hard for me to say things like that," you stated immediately. He nodded slowly and the paper dropped from your hand.

"No, I get it, I really do," Joshua assured. "I don't know, I thought that I was ready for it but..."

"If you want me to wait-"

"No!" Joshua protested. "It's taken you this long to say this, I won't keep you stifled any longer."

You opened your mouth, a little confused by Joshua's attitude about the whole thing.

"So you get it then?"

"Yeah."

You both started speaking at the same time.

"You want to break up because you don't like me."

"I'm in love with you."

Both sentences spoken at the same time. Both completely different meanings. Your breath hitched in your throat.

"Wait. Why would I want to break up with you?" You asked. Joshua looked stunned as well.

"Because you're in love with Seungkwan!" He stated. You stood up.

"What?! No, I'm in love with you!" You protested back. "I just can't figure out how to say it and IM told me you were considering breaking up with me, and so I freaked out and Seungkwan said that I needed to just tell you already, but I couldn't do that some easy way so I thought I'd write you a song and-"

Joshua interrupted by grabbing you by the shoulders, his lips pressing firmly against yours. You were so surprised that you didn't even react. You stood stock still and waited until he pulled away to even breath.

You gaped at him.

"Josh-"

"I hope that was okay, I've been wanting to do that for like a year," he murmured shyly.

You smiled softly, hiding the look beneath your hand.

"Yeah... Yeah it was okay."

You would explain everything later, but right now you would just appreciate that Joshua _definitely_ wouldn't be breaking up with you today.


End file.
